Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Pump With A Chump

"Uh, Stephen? That was supposed to be a picture of ME."

“You cannot make an iPad 2 by putting two iPad 1's in a panini press! No matter how much provolone you put in the middle. So, please, Apple. Make me the 'appiest' man in the world, and GIVE ME AN IPAD 2. Also, I could use a new panini press."

~ Stephen Colbert

I got an email from my girlfriend Dee this morning.

I’m kinda surprised she’s still talking to me, after the Albino Eyes Incident.

Dee pointed out that I haven’t been quoting song lyrics at the beginning of my blog posts for the past week or so. She demanded to know, “What’s up with that?”

Um...I haven’t been?

Oh. Haaaaaaaaaaa.

That right there should tell you everything you need to know about Kage and ADHD.

Hey! A squirrel! Haha! Come here, squirrel!

Wait, that's not a squirrel. It's just a piece of paper.

What I'm trying to say is that Henry Rollins is still in Australia, and I’m pining for him. I miss my imaginary lover. We are really close, like Charlie Sheen and Winning!, so separation is hard on both of us.

Though a bit harder on me, obviously, since he doesn’t know I exist.

Anyway, here’s an awesome video of Henry teaching Manny Chevrolet how to work out.

Ladies, try not to lick the screen. It doesn’t taste like Henry.


  1. As Stephen Colbert would say,.."I am America and so can You."

  2. noice!

    great little video, kage-y!

    now i can see why henry is your bo-hunk...

    where is the imaginary video of you and he working out?

  3. Do Canadian squirrels actually come to you? Here the squirrels just steal your lunch.

  4. Who could kick who's ass? Cobert on roids? Or regular black flag rollins? Glad Dee is back in your life.

  5. Something tells me that video alone left you sexually gratified for hours.

  6. I saw him on Chelsea Lately last night and immediately tweeted that "somewhere in the world Kage is creaming her pants". I hope he comes home to you soon, sweets.

  7. Tell me why, in the video when Henry starts yelling "Push! Push! Work! Work!" I can picture you wishing it was him yelling at you. In bed. Ha!


  8. I'm sure you two will be reunited before you know it. Or at least when you close your eyes and go to sleep.

  9. I'm kinda wishing my name was Manny ... "Give it to me Manny..." Damn he's hot! How can you not lust after his Godlikeness...

  10. I'm not very interested in what Henry tastes like because I'm a vegetarian. But I would guess he's not too different from Texas longhorn bull.

  11. He will come back to you and did you cream your pants.

  12. *drool* Hank!
    Nothing like a baileys w/ tea and a bit o' Hank first thing in the morning.
    Ahhhh for days off.

  13. I want to comment and I had a bunch a important things to say, but then I got distracted.

    By your pictures.

    And also I ...SQUIRREL


    that is all

  14. Middle Child,
    that book is my BIBLE.

    i'm working on it!

    squirrels make up 80% of the government here.

    neither. they would be too busy sharing ME.

    how did you know that?! are you spying on me again?

    thank-you so much! i didn't know that till you told me! mmmmm.

    you can picture that? ME TOO!

    Christopher Allen,
    hey, when i close my eyes, you're both there.

    damn right, girl! you have impeccable taste.

    speaking as someone who regularly puts bulls in her mouth, i concur.

    Angry Lurker,
    i did! i did cream my pants! thank-you for asking.

    now THAT is how you start a morning! welcome home :)

    tee hee! you and i together would be a sight to behold, chasing imaginary squirrels all over the place.

  15. I saw "pump" and I was expecting an entirely different type of video. Very disappointed, Kage.

    On the upside, I do enjoy squirrels, sooooo

  16. Yes I want song lyrics! I would rather have them regurgitated in text than listen to the song itself!

    Also, I want Henry Rollins to be my gym buddy. Everyone else is a pussy in comparison and just can't hang.

  17. He yelled at me once after a gig over some foolishness on my part. My girlfriend at the time started crying like a widdle baby.
    Funny thing was he found me a bit later and said (well, yelled) sorry to both of us.
    'Shit man! Sorry about before!! I was just in a pumped mood!! I'm calm now!!'


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