Tearing Shit Up

Hooray for Kage!!!!

It is 7:30 pm, and so far my birthday has been absolutely perfect. I stayed up late last night, reading and watching Colbert Report, and consequently didn’t get up today until 2 pm. I emerged from a dream in which Henry Rollins owned a record shop here in Calgary. I had gone in to get a Black Flag t-shirt for my birthday, but they were all too big, so Henry let me take his shirt off and put one on him instead. Then we went to the airport to fight crime together, which I think was an interesting twist.

When I finally got out of bed, I fed myself and the dogs, then we all piled into the car and headed down to the library. I picked up three books that I was looking for, and then three random books from authors I have never heard of. I just walked by the New Releases shelf with my eyes closed and grabbed three different books and an elderly woman’s crotch. After apologizing profusely, I left with my bounty and spent the rest of the afternoon sitting on the couch in my underwear, reading and eating blueberries.

Now THAT is how you spend a birthday.

And the fun’s not over yet. I just started some laundry and am going for a tan and then am dyeing my hair. Then I am going to punish myself at the gym for an hour before I come home and pass out while trying to stay up to see Colbert Report again. Yes, I DO know how to have a good time and tear shit up. Mothers, lock up your daughters! Or...something to that effect, I don’t know.

I would also like to extend a warm and wet Happy Birthday to my dear love, Marilyn Manson, whom I dare say is spending his special day doing the absolute complete opposite of I. However, I like to think that if we were spending our birthdays together, we would be doing something romantic and debased as a couple, like burning bibles and small children, or licking sugar effigies of Michelle Bachman.

Regardless. Happy Birthday, muffin.

Happy Birthday, darling! I got you
that narcissism you wanted...

(Pissed Script: The next morning...Holy shit! After Gorilla Bananas mentioned he had said Happy Bday on Facebook, I moseyed on over there to have a look - and I couldn't believe the buttload of birthday messages I found! Thank-you so much to everyone who took a moment to write me a message; what a great surprise! Very sweet, I really appreciate it so much. Thank-you ;)



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