Thursday, January 19, 2012

Be Still My Bleeding Heart

Ah fuck! AGAIN???

So don't expect the best
You won't be disappointed 
When you take a bite and watch
The worm crawl back inside

Happiness was killed, we watched it bleed
Some say it died from hate

Some say from bleeding heart disease

~ Bleeding Heart Disease, NOFX

Dad tried to hide it from me, because he’s a smart man. He knew exactly what I would do if I found it.

Unfortunately for him, I did find it.

I woke from a bad dream this afternoon. It left a bad taste in my mouth, which I decided to replace with smoke in my mouth, so I suited up for the cold and took Billy and Chiclet outside. Something made me go out the front of the house, which is kinda odd, cuz I usually take the dogs out back with me. I don’t know why I went out the front door today, I just did. Dad didn’t hear me, or he would have stopped me.

I was thinking about the bad dream and trying to shake off the residual wiggins when I noticed my biggest dog, Billy, trying to knock over a plastic garbage pail that was sitting on the concrete beside the garden. I grinned and shook my head. Silly Billy, I thought, and walked over to move whatever food was in the garbage out of my baby boy’s reach.

I got to the plastic garbage can, looked inside, and screamed. I dropped my smoke on the ground and backed away, then turn and ran back into the house.

“Dad!” I screamed as I rocketed through the door. “Dad, come quick! There’s a baby mouse outside in the garbage can and I think he’s hurt!” And I hurtled back through the door.

My dad came running out a minute later, pulling on his big puffy jacket and gloves. “I didn’t want you to see this,” he said grimly, and a moment later I FINALLY clued in to fucking reality.

“It’s a trap, isn’t it?” I whispered, and approached the plastic pail, feeling stupid. I watched as my dad reached in with his glove and opened the trap. The baby mouse scuttled away from Dad’s hand, and he pulled the trap out of the garbage pail.

“It’s supposed to break their necks or their backs,” he said helplessly, as tears coursed down my face. “They’re not supposed to suffer.”

“What are you gonna do with him?” I asked in a small voice. Henrietta Collins, aged twelve.

“I didn’t know what to do with him,” Dad turned his palms up and shrugged. “I caught him in the ceiling and brought him outside so you wouldn’t see him.”

“Can I take him to Nose Hill and release him?” I asked hopefully. We used to do that when I was a kid.

“You wanna drive all that way for one little mouse?” my dad asked incredulously and rubbed his forehead.

“Yes,” I shrugged.

“Do I have to come?”

My eyes lit up. “Nope.”

“Then do whatever you want,” Dad shook his head and went back into the house.

After some careful observation, it became clear to me that the little mouse’s foot/leg had been broken in the trap, and he wasn’t able to move at maximum capacity. This would make him even easier prey if I released him in the park. Combined with the -25 temperature outside, my decision became very easy.

And that’s how we got our new pet mouse!

I can't believe we found each other, Nibbles.
It must be density! I mean destiny.

(Before you lose your marbles, Nibbles is quarantined in the garage; and it's just until he can walk a bit better and it warms up. Then I'm going to release him at Nose Hill Park, which is the massive woods-and-acres dog park by my house.)



  1. I'm sure it's just you working off some Karma or something, but those animals are not safe and should not be allowed to continue living. Seriously. Hate to be the one to tell you.

  2. Convictus,
    i know, i know. but there's a buttload of them living in our ceiling and basement anyway, so i figured what's a few days in the garage gonna hurt?

    i promise you can say 'i told you so' when i die of the hanta virus...

  3. You deserve an award for that, Ms Kage. From this day onward you shall be known as Protector of the Furry Little Thing. I've caught several of those critters with homemade mousetraps that left them completely unharmed. If you google "humane mousetrap", you'll find links like this.

  4. ...but you're a kind hearted fucking idiot my friend.

  5. Awwww he's cute :) You've already named him, you're too attached. The only time he'll leave that garage is to join you in your room. I wouldn't mind a small furry animal but two cats means I can't.

  6. ewww, you are a better woman than me Kagey dear, I all about humane treatment but I'm not about sharing my space with this particular type of critter.

  7. aw he is so cute and you are so sweet to help him

  8. he is adorable ;) and thats very nice of you. my dad is very much like you too.

  9. despite my manly, gruff and tough exterior i squeal like a little girl on a roller coaster when i see meeces....that said i hold no enmity toward them and it would require at least a bottle of xanax tabs for me to even think of laying a trap, so i just move house hoping they dont follow me ;)

  10. I once, while trying to catch a mouse using a plastic container, severely injured it. I then had to kill it because it was suffering so much. It was the single most traumatic experience of my life. I cried for days. It still makes me want to cry.

    You should buy no-kill traps & put them in your ceiling, then you could release all of them.

    Mice are adorable (especially Nibbles - he's chunky). I don't get how they're creepy, they're just like tiny dogs.

    .. No? :I

  11. One of the perks of owning a hunting breed terrier is that things like rodents, squirrels, birds, and sometimes even rabbits don't make it out of the backyard, or my house, alive.

    Problems solved ;)

  12. Haha, funny I remember doing the exact same thing with my dad when I was younger. Well and I still would but we haven't had any mice in our house in a while.
    My dad had to buy live traps so that we would catch the mouse and then I would take it to the park by our house and release it. They're so darn cute! Nibbles is adorable! I wish him/her a very speedy recovery. I'm glad you took nibbles in :)

  13. It's Wu Muthafuckas ;)

    love you <3

  14. Mental and brilliant. My kids brought a pigeon with a broken leg home years ago. They put it in a cage and asked me what to do. I made a little splint for its leg and released it a few weeks later. Flew up and landed on top of the local police station. I'd forgotten about that story; going to text kids about it now; thank you. Came her via Dan. I will return.

  15. I had a rat that chewed through the floor of the flat i lived in once. Luckily my then cat, attacked it, which in this case meant spraying the walls with rat blood and leaving three quarters of it on the kitchen floor for me to walk in to . Never thought i would have to clean rat up. Hope he is safe on nose hill. Thanks for following.


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