Tuesday, December 20, 2011

You're Addicted to What?

Hey, it's true! The more you read, the more you grow. 

"My office Christmas party is tonight. Which means my office apology party will be tomorrow."

~ Stephen Colbert

Argh! Stupid Christmas.

The tattoo shop has been slammed over the past few weeks, which means that I haven’t had any time to arse around on the interweb. I haven’t even had time to read any of my favorite blogs, let alone write and post something of my own.

To The Point will also be open during the Christmas holidays, save for December 25th and January 1st, and I’m working all of those days. So, after much debate, I have decided not to volunteer at Easter Seals this year. I really enjoyed spending my Christmas there last year, but I only get one day off for Christmas this year, and I’d really like to have it to myself.

Something has been on my mind over the past few weeks, something that Dr. Adorable said at one of our counseling sessions. He has this theory, admittedly derived from information that I have shared with him, that I have a new “addiction”, a new way of escape to replace my former self destructive compulsive behaviors, such as anorexia and substance abuse. He thinks that something has stepped into the void, and you will never guess in a million years what it is.

Shopping? No.

Excessive Chap Stick application? No

Heroin? Maybe later.

It’s reading. Reading has apparently become a compulsive behavior for me.

I laughed uproariously when he suggested it, which earned me a patronizing smile in return. He defended his theory by pointing out the ways in which I am treating books like an addiction, like a compulsive behavior: I read while I eat, I read while I smoke, I read between customers when the shop is quiet, I read when I go to bed, and if I don’t get time to read at the end of every work day, I get seriously pissed.

Dr. Adorable told me to think about it over the week, and that we would discuss it the next time we met.

I shrugged and lied and said that I would think about it, though really I thought it was stupid and had no intention to actually doing so. But I have admittedly noticed some behaviors that strike me as perhaps a little odd, on top of the ones the good doc pointed out.  I also read while I walk, I read not only while I am eating but while I am preparing my food,  I keep a book open in my lap while I am driving so that I can read at all intersections and traffic lights, I'll read a book even if it isn’t very good and I don't like it, I read on the treadmill, I read while I wait for customers to find the right change, I read until I fall asleep every night and then I sleep with my book in my arms, waking up every now and then to make sure it’s still with me before I fall back to sleep.

I don't know. Does that sound like compulsive behavior to you?

(Pissed Script: I was reading while I wrote this post.)

Now this is how you pass that class.
Right, Red Shoes? ;)


  1. See? I always wondered why people apply Chap-Stick over and over again. I figured it just didn't work well.
    If reading is wrong, I don't wanna be right. Thanks for the heads up. Now I know not to bring this up with my therapist. Kisses!

  2. So addictions get replaced with other addictions. At least at first. I thought that was common knowledge. And of all the addictions out there, this is probably one of the least destructive I've ever heard of. (Except the car part. Be careful.)

  3. i wonder what sort of tattoo designs people go for during Christmas and New Year :p
    it's probably a good addiction as long as you don't have a book on your lap while driving.

  4. I feel so sorry for these shrinks, having say something profound and insightful every time you visit them. There's no such thing as being addicted to reading, it's just what smart people do. There is such a thing as being addicted to eating pussy, though. I wonder if your shrink is - no harm in asking.

  5. If it isn't it's borderline, I thought I read a lot.......Merry Christmas Kage!

  6. You have to sleep with with the teacher in question, not the principal, while it does sound like a good shortcut. I love reading but even I haven't gone that far, but reading is a much better addiction to have than say heroin.

  7. Interesting theory. I can see Dr. Adorable is good for you, he makes you think about things in a different way and that can only mean onward and upward right? As far as I'm concerned, compared to all the wretched things you used to do to harm your beautiful self, reading is still a step in the right direction even if it is a tad compulsive at the moment.

    I do see his concern if you are using reading to crowd out your own thoughts and not giving your mind a chance to relax and take in the silence and have the all important self-dialogue and all that clinical important crap, but as long as your have a little balance and some time for processing thoughts, I say keep on keeping on girl! Merry Merry Christmas to you love!!

  8. The fact you write as well as read means that you aren't clouding out your own thoughts. Reading while driving is not only dangerous, it's also illegal here in Calgary Kage. You don't need a fucking distracted driving ticket.

    As far as reading too much, I don't think it is possible.

    Merry Christmas Kage, here's to having a Chinook Christmas.

  9. I read a lot, but mostly dirty stories on the internet posted by cute tattoo ladies. I suppose mostly waiting for the jahoobies to make another appearance. Oh Kagey

  10. So? So?? So???? That dude better be careful bandying around that addiction word so...so..well in a slatternly fashion....its like saying breathing is an addiction..a word easy to plonk on someone but when taken to task they better have a good explanation as to how they define it...
    it may be a fine line between intense interest in something and addiction but not once did i hear the doc say 'well k girl, it looks as if you are neglecting other parts of your life, even endangering it due to this reading addiction'...
    sorry honey...the word strikes a chord in me as i have battled demons in the past and all the hallmarks of addiction do not add up here...
    youre a freaking smart woman and like to expand your brain...which is good..and better than whatever slings n arrows you have faced in the past...
    whew...rant on dan...hope that made sense...
    anyway as frank costanza once said 'happy festivus!'
    oh and btw...im nearly finished ona new tatto design...for my BACK!!!

  11. I have a similar reading addiction. Only I read t-shirt prints. And it's generally when that print is plastered across women's boobs.

  12. I read every night before I go to bed too. But the rest of it....

    Gotta say, I'm happy to hear you've replaced destroying your body with reading. That's much better for you than anorexia and substance abuse ;)

  13. I have compulsive behavior problems too. When I do anything, I do it big. You should see me with 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles.

  14. Ya know Kiddo it sounds like a good compulsion. I say keep doing it. Maybe not so much while driving but good all the same. Miss ya Princess. Have a good one and merry Xmas.

  15. I'm way late to the party here, but yeah, it does sound like a replacement.

    But a much healthier one, so I'd have to say it's a good start, right?

    I use the internet to numb the fuck out of myself. At least if I was reading I could be adding some intellect into my life.

    Fucking PTSD.


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