You're Addicted to What?

Hey, it's true! The more you read, the more you grow. 

"My office Christmas party is tonight. Which means my office apology party will be tomorrow."


~ Stephen Colbert



Argh! Stupid Christmas.

The tattoo shop has been slammed over the past few weeks, which means that I haven’t had any time to arse around on the interweb. I haven’t even had time to read any of my favorite blogs, let alone write and post something of my own.

To The Point will also be open during the Christmas holidays, save for December 25th and January 1st, and I’m working all of those days. So, after much debate, I have decided not to volunteer at Easter Seals this year. I really enjoyed spending my Christmas there last year, but I only get one day off for Christmas this year, and I’d really like to have it to myself.

Something has been on my mind over the past few weeks, something that Dr. Adorable said at one of our counseling sessions. He has this theory, admittedly derived from information that I have shared with him, that I have a new “addiction”, a new way of escape to replace my former self destructive compulsive behaviors, such as anorexia and substance abuse. He thinks that something has stepped into the void, and you will never guess in a million years what it is.

Shopping? No.

Excessive Chap Stick application? No

Heroin? Maybe later.

It’s reading. Reading has apparently become a compulsive behavior for me.

I laughed uproariously when he suggested it, which earned me a patronizing smile in return. He defended his theory by pointing out the ways in which I am treating books like an addiction, like a compulsive behavior: I read while I eat, I read while I smoke, I read between customers when the shop is quiet, I read when I go to bed, and if I don’t get time to read at the end of every work day, I get seriously pissed.

Dr. Adorable told me to think about it over the week, and that we would discuss it the next time we met.

I shrugged and lied and said that I would think about it, though really I thought it was stupid and had no intention to actually doing so. But I have admittedly noticed some behaviors that strike me as perhaps a little odd, on top of the ones the good doc pointed out.  I also read while I walk, I read not only while I am eating but while I am preparing my food,  I keep a book open in my lap while I am driving so that I can read at all intersections and traffic lights, I'll read a book even if it isn’t very good and I don't like it, I read on the treadmill, I read while I wait for customers to find the right change, I read until I fall asleep every night and then I sleep with my book in my arms, waking up every now and then to make sure it’s still with me before I fall back to sleep.

I don't know. Does that sound like compulsive behavior to you?

(Pissed Script: I was reading while I wrote this post.)

Now this is how you pass that class.
Right, Red Shoes? ;)