Saturday, July 30, 2011

I Love Confused Old Men

"Kage! Are we gonna get married or what? Hurry up!
These leather pants are melting my nuts off."

We got a drug
We're gonna try it out on you
Won't make you die
It'll getcha just a little bit sick 

Got a head cold
Got a chest cold
And it's three days old
(Goin' on forever)
Make you hazy
Make you lazy
Drive you crazy
For days and days and days and days and days
And years 

Barely got the time now
To stay on the job
Double up the dosage in your water supply
Make you even sicker 'til you're slippin' away 

Getting all depressed
It's getting all your friends
You can't get it up
For nothing that'll rock the boat 

The government flu

~ Dead Kennedys

It’s back into the hop-sital for me
Where I’ll sit inside and stare out at the trees
You can’t go out, you’re crazy, don’t you see?
You’re a threat to yourself and others, just like me

So I’ll sit in bed and pretend that I don’t care
That my teeth fall out and I’m losing all my hair

Wait, what? Sorry? There’s a confused elderly gentleman in the corridor who doesn’t know who Henry Rollins is, or that I might not be married to him?

I’ll be right there! Lemme just print up a new wedding photo...



  1. i knew confused old men had to be good for something...
    (and you're, like, awesome to the billionth degree the way you keep that bitchin sense of humor through your struggles.)

  2. I think this Rollins guy and the confused old man should fight it out for the right to sniff yout coochie. That's how we gorillas deal with our wayward females.

  3. Wait I'm confused.........Wait, am I that old?

  4. all this confusion could be cleared up if Henry would just go public with his undying love for you... then you could like....Google it... or something...

  5. For some reason I feel like I'm the confused elderly gentleman. Except I'm not elderly, gentle OR a man.

  6. Hey Kiddo. Sorry I haven't talked to ya I a while. Had head firmly up my own ass. I hate that shit. Hope ya are doing ok. Some of us still luv ya. Us f*cked people got to stick together. Miss ya kiddo.

  7. Hey Kiddo.
    I hate this crap. I don't know how to do this and the people I'd ask are who I can't get a hold of. I hope you are doing ok. I read a lot of your stuff. I like it funny shit. You've gotten better. Had my own head up my ass lately. Sorry about that. Keep goin Kage. Us crazy people are behind you.

  8. Welcome back and look no word verification!

  9. Id,
    thanks toots :)

    thank-you :)

    Angry Lurker,
    i know, right? it's so nice.

  10. GB,
    i think that YOU and henry rollins should fight for the right to sniff my coochie.

    Oilfield Daddy,
    thank-you :)

    you are the oldest man alive! in the sense that you are very smart, and not in the sense that you have droopy old balls.

  11. Randy,
    THANK-YOU! finally, somebody says it!

    Sugar Free,
    heather? is that you? where's your picture? how do i know this isn't someone anonymous? heh heh.

    Uncle Peter,
    i love being the leader of the crazy people! and i'll text you in a bit, hang in there; it's so good to hear from you :)

  12. Natural One,
    rollins, still rocking my pants 2011.

    all thanks to you, darling!

  13. Gotta enjoy some Rollins! Very nice site you have here. I'll come back.

  14. He is really fighting his love for you and it doesn't become him! We all know you can't fight off the lusty love of Kage...just go with's best that way. Poor man, medicate him and take him home, ASAP! ;)

  15. Have you not read about my troubles with blogger?????? That's why no picture!

  16. Shockgrubz,
    thank-you! i hope you do :)

    it really would make henry's life so much easier if he did just let me love him.

    Sugar Free,
    of course i've read about your troubles with blogger, silly. that's why i'm yanking your chain! heh heh

  17. i love confused old men too :)

  18. I hope his wedding tux had those same nut-melting leather pants.

  19. For the millionth time, Kage, tell your hubby to get the old band back together.

    But to add me as an official member.

  20. Jaya J,
    we should totally lure them together to our evil lair, then steal all their creamed corn.

    sigh. me too.

    no problem, i'll tell him later in bed tonight. knowing you as i do, though, i'm assuming you're referring to state of alert, rather than black flag. am i right?

  21. Another great thing about old men is that they can't run as fast as the younger ones. This is very convenient sometimes.


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