Saturday, July 16, 2011

Hyperactive Child



I'm tired of kissin' ass
I can't sit still all day
You know I know your school's a lie
That's why you dragged me here


Drag me to the floor
Pullin' down my pants
Ram a needle up my butt
Put my brain into a trance


"Gather round, kiddies! Today's story is about the first time Kage and I had sex in a Zeppelin over Sydney, Australia. Christ, what a morning! When the first midget jumped overboard by the Parliament building, I knew we were going to jail..."
'No more hyperactive child
Got too much of a mind
Wouldn't you rather be happy?
Now this won't hurt a bit'


Cameras in the halls
No windows, just brick walls
Pledge allegiance to a flag
Now you will obey...


~ Dead Kennedys



When you haven’t blogged in a while, you gotta come back kicking. You can’t be all light and breezy; you need to march right up and deliver something epic. Something profound, something carefully considered and well thought out, that will touch your readers deep inside their hearts and souls. And, if you’re really good, their pants.

After endless soul searching this week, I have finally narrowed it down to one single, powerful composition. May I present to you, for the betterment of your hearts and minds, the most profoundly moving piece of cinematic glory I have encountered in a very long time. Possibly ever.

(um...before the lawsuits start flying, I had better just point out that this particular excerpt of God's good work is definitely not for the faint of heart.)

Enjoy.





                                            ******************************************


"Hey! Hey you! Over here! What's up, how are ya? I'm Jude, the cutest, cuddliest, goofiest 11-week-old puppy you will ever hope to meet, and I need a home! If you know anyone who might be able to help me find a new family, please email Kage right away! All of my brothers and sisters have already gone to live with their new parents, and I am terribly lonely here all by myself. Please help me find my new Mum or Dad. Thanks! Woof Woof!"

Posted by Henrietta Collins at 2:45 AM
Labels: ,

27 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 16, 2011 at 4:17 AM

    That video was fucking awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gorilla BananasJuly 16, 2011 at 4:21 AM

    And they called it puppy love. I got a "private" message when I tried to see your poochling in action, but I can't take him anyway. My females would make him lick bad stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A Beer for the ShowerJuly 16, 2011 at 5:27 AM

    Consider my pants successfully touched. Cute pup, best of luck getting him a good familia.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oilfield TrashJuly 16, 2011 at 9:15 AM

    Awesome video.

    ReplyDelete
  5. MikeJuly 16, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    that was scary. even for you.

    Awesome.

    Also, you gotta make that pooch vid not private and stuff?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Henrietta CollinsJuly 16, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    Whiskey Girl,
    it is, isn't it? really brings back my traumatic childhood.

    GB,
    and the problem is...?

    Beer4Shower,
    i am honored to have touched your pants. i mean your heart.

    Oilfield Daddy,
    epic, n'est pas?

    Mike,
    oooops! done :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. idJuly 16, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    damn that video is disturbing. not really all the abortion stuff, but those crazy ass voices. i mean, it's hysterical...but hysterically disturbing i guess. fuck, i'm going to have nightmares about it i know it.

    love your photo caption, btw, hehehe.

    ReplyDelete
  8. prisoner artJuly 16, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    Funny concept, but kinda hard to make out what they're saying - or maybe I'm just going deaf !
    Thanks anyway, Kage !

    ReplyDelete
  9. Vinny CJuly 16, 2011 at 9:05 PM

    You're right that was EPIC.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Random GirlJuly 18, 2011 at 7:17 AM

    I'm not in need of any more disturbing stuff bouncing around me head so I skipped the video but did want to say that I'm glad you posted, as I am always am, and that I hope you do so again soon! *MWAH*!

    ReplyDelete
  11. confictushomeJuly 18, 2011 at 3:09 PM

    oh lord on the dubbing. It there are some great examples of this being hilarious, I think this one was a little questionable. Also is is sad that I think I watched that show when I was a kid? F* the 80's man that decade should be carpet bombed out of existence, also get the mfing word verification turned off.

    ReplyDelete
  12. hedJuly 19, 2011 at 2:10 AM

    Oh Jesus. Best video ever. I had to send it to my most disturbing of friends, to which I found out they had already seen the video and knew the lines. By heart.

    hed

    ReplyDelete
  13. Drake SigarJuly 19, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    MY CHILDHOOD!

    ReplyDelete
  14. CopyboyJuly 19, 2011 at 2:42 PM

    I used to confuse the dead kennedeys with the Dead Milkmen. Hi Jude!!! Such a good dog!!! Yes you are!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Stephanie IrisJuly 19, 2011 at 5:04 PM

    Hahaha oh man. That video was a gem.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousJuly 20, 2011 at 3:23 AM

    awesome video. for real

    ReplyDelete
  17. Henrietta CollinsJuly 20, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    Id,
    that caption is a quote verbatim from jello biafra. i SWEAR.

    Prisoner Art,
    yeah, jiz' voice is kinda hard to make out :(

    Vinny,
    classic, isn't it?

    Randy,
    thanks hunny bunny :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Henrietta CollinsJuly 20, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    Convictus,
    i've tried to remove the captcha but it doesn't give me the option to do so. i left a message on your blog, can you mfing help me?

    Hed,
    haha! that's fucking awesome.

    Drake,
    i know, right? mine too!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Henrietta CollinsJuly 20, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    Copyboy,
    i think lots of people confuse them; when i was searching for dead kennedys stuff i got a lot of songs that were mistakenly attributed to the dead milkmen.

    Miss Sassy Pants,
    thanks :) i went to your blog too and i liked it. let's drink over it :)

    Pope Timothy,
    thanks. your blog is fantastic :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. StigmataHandjobJuly 20, 2011 at 5:59 PM

    I just read your "about me" section and I already know I want to be your best friend and mimic everything you say and do so well that I could one day kill you, skin you, crawl inside your skin and become you.

    But not in a creepy way or anything.

    Followed!

    ReplyDelete
  21. MagixxJuly 21, 2011 at 3:43 AM

    great blog buddy!
    keep it up
    +followed

    ReplyDelete
  22. DuckyJuly 21, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    What?! No Henry Rollins? I suppose the Puppy love will tide me over. I'm sucker for an adorable face. :O)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Henrietta CollinsJuly 21, 2011 at 6:09 PM

    StigmataHandJob,
    well aren't you sweet! my skin just giggled.

    Natural One,
    mmmmm, yes he does.

    Magixx,
    right back at you muffin!

    Daffs,
    i'm tired of sharing him with the ungrateful public! he's in my bed and he's NOT COMING OUT.

    ReplyDelete
  24. JJJuly 22, 2011 at 5:20 AM

    funny video!
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. AnonymousJuly 23, 2011 at 6:14 AM

    Omigod that was so much better than the original, Kagie!!! I love it!

    <3 Dee :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. BabetteJuly 23, 2011 at 8:03 AM

    fucking AWESOME!

    ReplyDelete
  27. yvonne@attractedtoshinythingsJuly 23, 2011 at 2:31 PM

    Loved the video, awesome post. I gave you an award! Come by my blog to pick it up chickie.
    Muah!

    ReplyDelete

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