Thursday, April 21, 2011

Henry Rollins Is Gonna Be In My Pants Tonight - And You Get To Watch!

"That's RIGHT you're staying home tonight."


Did I say Henry Rollins was gonna be “in my pants” tonight?

I meant “in your t.v.”. Henry Rollins is gonna be in your t.v. tonight, and you get to watch him!

Henry “MyPecsDanceOnlyForKage” Rollins is making a guest appearance tonight on NBC’s new sitcom, The Paul Reiser Show.

(Check your local listings)

(Haha! I can’t believe I just wrote that)

(No, seriously, why would I write that?)

I didn’t know that Paul Reiser even had a new show on NBC, if truth be told. Of course, if we are being totally honest, generally speaking I don’t really know my ass from my elbow, either. But a couple of days ago, I was sitting around on my elbows and cyber-stalking Henry Rollins’ pectoral muscles when I discovered something special - my gorgeous (imaginary) boyfriend Henry was to be on this week’s episode of The Paul Reiser Show! Hooray!

I hope he gets naked, I thought happily, as I looked up the show times.

Sadly, Henry doesn't get naked in this episode - which is really quite a soul-crushing blow for me, if you wanna know the truth - but even without the gratuitous nudity which I had hoped for, it is worth watching.

The episode airs tonight on the american channel NBC, though I'm one of the lucky few that have already seen it. Up here in the Canadias, it aired two days ago. We get everything earlier up here because of how important we are to the movie and television industry. It is common practice here for all American sitcoms to be held up to rigorous Canadian standards. If a program doesn't meet these standards of excellence, all of the show's cast, crew and producers are dumped naked in the Rocky Mountains, and left to fend for themselves.

After all, who knows more about how to make great television than we do? Can you say CBC? That's right, baby, the CBC, that same gem of a channel that brought you "Little Mosque on the Prairie" and "Manbridge One on One". Mmmmmm, oh yeah, you know you're jealous, America. Eat it.

Anyway, I got to see Henry Rollins' guest appearance on The Paul Reiser Show this past Tuesday night - and now it’s your turn!

I know this goes without saying, but I’m gonna say it anyway - Henry was awesome. And not just because I wanna live in his pants.

Now, then. NOW THEN. Get up off your elbows, everyone, and go watch The Paul Reiser Show!

Eat! Watch
Pray! Masturbate
Love Clean up

I know I will.

Actually, I prolly won't clean up.

"Goddamnit! Where is the fucking remote?!?!"


  1. I'm kinda new here but I'm starting to sense that you may have a thing for Henry Rollins.

  2. Is dumping people naked in the Rocky Mountains really a punishment? If I dumped you naked in the Congo jungle I guarantee you'd make a few friends before sundown. And not all of them would be snakes.

  3. I thought as punishment, you guys made them listen to Nickelback.

    BTW why couldn't you keep Nickelback contained in the Canadias?

    Luv Luv

  4. Not got NBC I'm afraid but I love your Henry Rollins fixation, like me with Pamela Anderson.

  5. Hmm..will have to do some commando interwebs searching for that one...none of that shit airs in Oz atm and I am too cheap to 'buy' cable TV.
    Alas I will have to sit around and listen to my scratched up n beat up copy of 'Damaged'.
    Man that is an old pic of him looking in his toolbox, all long haired and stuff.
    I bet you wonder whether he is a righty or a lefty K-Girl....

  6. Since you have this delightful control over USA, can you please make them make me a new season of Chuck? Pleeeeeease?

    I hope you'll get some Rollin(s) nudity soon!
    Cheers ;)

  7. i didn't even know paul reiser was still alive...go figure. well, good for him, not being dead and all. and on top of not being dead, having henry rollins grace his (i'm sure top-notch) show, things are definitely looking up for paul.

  8. Who the fuck is Paul Reiser???

    Doesn't really matter since I'll be busy with you, hookers and blow trying to get over my blockage. Right?? RIGHT????

  9. I did not know that Paul Rieser had a show.

  10. Paul Reiser hasn't done anything good since 1986 (Aliens). Same goes for Hank.
    I, on the other hand did something very good just last night.

  11. haha. Love the post. Watch Masturbate Clean Up. Love it.

  12. I loooooove this one.

    And your sign off?

    Eat pray love take off, was too funny

    that is all

  13. damnit why are they paying him if he isn't getting naked? what is he going to do anyway? act? WEIRD!

  14. he's got some acting chops.

  15. i missed this tv show, but there was all fucking kinds of hockey on this week...

    and not just on cbc...


  16. I'm going to try to get a plaster replica of Henry Rollins ass for your birthday.


    You'd probably have a much better chance of doing this than I.

    I'll think of something else.

  17. Crap I read this late and missed Henry!

    Forgive me?


  18. Annnnnnnnd the show's canceled already, after getting the lowest ratings in NBC history. Ouch.

    Guess even Henry Rollins and his magic pecs couldn't save that terrible show...

  19. Aw. . . I was hoping to check him out! Oh, well... Internet searching it is then!

  20. @Bedrock: You're an idiot, since End Of Silence was well after '86 and kicks balls.

    Sorry Kage, I had to defend my/your man.

    Also, I always wanted to love CBC simply for giving me Kids in the Hall, but I could never get the sour taste of Degrassi or The Littlest Hobo out of my mouth.

    And seriously, FUCK Red Green. I wish he would duct tape his face to a missile.

    Nice Flight of the Conchords pic, by the way.

  21. It would've been must see TV for the pants part. Sorry, that was dirty and out of character for me.

  22. @ Kev D.: You may be entirely right. You're clearly a far bigger Paul Reiser fan than me. To be honest though, I don't really care. I was just being a jerk to get a piece of elbow. Chicks LOVE that shit.

    Still have my number there Kager?

  23. @Bedrock: Hilarious. Seriously the Paul Reiser joke caught me way off guard.

  24. Oh no! When you said he was going to be on TV, I thought 'hey I will be able to watch that and see who this guy is' and then suddently I remembered... I am going back home to the UK today. Dammit!

  25. Eh up Kage - where have you been? We're missing ya gal!

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