Wednesday, March 30, 2011


Henry,  you naughty boy!
Did you steal my panties? 

I'll hide behind a smile 
And understanding eyes 
And I'll tell you things that you already know 
So you can say 
"I really identify with you, so much!"

And all the time that you're needing me 
Is just the time that I'm bleeding you 
Don't you get it yet? 
I'll come to you like an affliction 
And I'll leave you like an addiction 

You'll never forget me 
You wanna know why? 

Cause I'm a liar

~ Henry Rollins

I woke up Saturday morning to find that my Facebook page had been deleted! Oh no!

Who could possibly have done that? I smirked to myself, and took the whole thirty seconds necessary to create a new page. (If you’re not sure who it was, just read my last post.)

So everybody, I now have a new Facebook page. I would like to ask all my Bloggy friends to go to it and send me a friend request, so that I can add you again, and get my new page started.

I’d also like to thank everyone for all their supportive comments after I posted my last blog. You guys are fucking awesome! It’s hard to narrow it down, but here are a few of my favorite comments from my last post, “Bitches Be Craaazy”:

“Wow. My brain hurts from trying to understand what the cum bucket was trying to say.”

“She sounds like a nice little retard.”

“He calls out your name when he fucks her. It's the only explanation.”

“My fucking IQ just dropped like 20 points after reading her blabber.”

“Is she borderline illiterate? No fucking hope for her children.”

Hahaha! Thanks, you guys. ;)

Now then, I think we’ve wasted enough time on Michele, don't you? Let’s move on to something sane.

Heather at Sugar Free Thoughts has been kind enough to send me an award for “Blogger With The Best Boobs”. Isn’t that sweet? Oh, hold on a sec, just got a text...hey, it’s from Sugar Free Heather, speak of the devil! What’s she got to say?



“The award isn’t for best boobs, dumb ass! Not everything you receive in life is because of your rack.”

It isn’t?!

Okay, well, let’s have another look at this award thingy, then.

I’ll show HER.

Oh, haha! It isn’t about my rack. What are the odds?

With a prestigious award such as this comes great responsibility blah blah blah. I am meant to tell you seven things about myself, then pass the award on to however many blog tarts I choose. So pretend you care for a sec, and read this random crap about me.

1. Uh......
2. Hmmm.......
3. I dated Matthew Good a few years ago. Unless you’re Canadian, you will have no idea who that is.
4. The more tattoos I get, the lesser the chance I will ever have a normal job.
5. By this time in my life, I was supposed to be a soloist with the Royal Ballet of London, with a career in journalism on the side, and married to Hugh Laurie. Instead, I am a stripper who writes a blog and has an unhealthy obsession with Henry Rollins. SO CLOSE.
6. Oooh, speaking of which, I finally saw an episode of Sons of Anarchy with Henry Rollins. As expected, he was bloody fantastic. Though really, I would think this had he just tap danced naked across the screen. More, probably.
7. Last night, I dreamt I went to Manderley again. Actually, I dreamed last night that I was forced to hunt a pig. I am a vegetarian, so I just kept firing wide and missing him. I have no idea what this means.

Ta da! Hey! GET BACK HERE.

Now, my five blog tarts that I am inviting into the Jello wrestling ring, to see who will hold the title of Versatile Blogger for the next fortnight.

Kick Her Right In The Habit

PBJ Dreamer

Sometimes I Like Taffy

The Japing Ape

You Know Funny

Go check out these blogs, or I’ll slash your tires.

Haha! Just kidding.

Or am I?


  1. Yay! My cum bucket comment made the list! hehe. Glad that you have moved on and to such a nice award. Congratulations! :-) Loved the facts.

  2. Would this blog even exist if you'd been with the ballet? I think everything worked out better than you had planned, for everyone's sake!

  3. I've heard of peeps trying to delete their FB profiles, but never someone getting one deleted without them knowing it. Fortunately your myspace page is up. Not that I looked. ;)

  4. The older I get, the more tattoos I want and the less I care about that normal job.

    Had my facebook page deleted after anonymous hacking. I think yours is worse. Fucking brainless bitch.

    1. Who is brainless she can't be that brainless if she can make stuff just disappear like someone else Facebook page for example. Ummm hello.. So who is the brainless bitch here. See your brain power has not taken you to meet Jenny Craig yet.:)

  5. Congrats on the award and the ones you passed it onto.

  6. mathew goode girlfriend played like evry fifiteen minutes her in the USA for about three weeks...

    congrats and it really is about your rack...

    just kidding...
    or am i?

  7. Seriously I'm CONSTANTLY telling people that Hugh Laurie is hot, and no one agrees.

    Unless you were being completely sarcastic.

    As for the ballet, I watched "Black Swan" last night. Talk about bitches be craaazy. That would have been you, just sayin'. Growing feathers and shit.

    I WAS YOUR FIRST FACEBOOK FRIEND! FUCK YEAH! (I think, or now I'm gonna look like an asshole)


  8. Congratulations on the award and it should be for you boobs aswell.

  9. The more tattoos I get the longer my sleeves become. I once velcroed my left sleeve to my skin before I went for a job interview.
    One of the people on the panel had a tattoo on his neck. I didn't get the job...
    Oh I have bowed to your FB request too...can't have too many friends eh?

  10. omg! i feel so honored to have been chosen by you (one of my top favorite bloggers) for the award thingie. i probably deserve it cuz i have nice boobs too. oh, and i'd totally love to get all dirty with hugh laurie, something about his subtle lisp is so sexy. no sarcasm intended.

  11. OMFG You dated Matthew Good? Can I touch you>

    LOL I care nothing for Matthew Good. I just want to touch you. :P

  12. Yay for Kage & her rack!
    Thanks for the award doll. Also I love to see me some Hank first thing in the morning. NOM.

    So are the rumours true that Matthew Good is kind of a douche?

  13. How come when I deleted my FB account back in October it took two fucking weeks for it to actually go away????

    I promise, the next award will absolutely be about your boobs.

    Love ya!!

  14. I'm giving you an award for your boobs right now. I haven't seen them but I'm guessing they must be torpedoes if you're a stripper.

  15. You're right, I'm American and I have no idea who Matthew Good is. I'm guessing he's Canadian too? Does he look anything like this?

  16. Rollins is the man.

    Also, Matthew Good? Really?

    If it was one of the guys from Sloan, I'd be a lot more jealous... wait, not that I want to date a dude... err... umm...

    Sloan rules.

  17. I love Sons of Anarchy. One of my guilty pleasures. I'd totally give you an award for your boobs if you wanted.

  18. I reckon the pig dream had something to do with Michele. It's a shame you are a vegetarian, you might have hit target if you weren't!

  19. Where the fuck have you been all my life?

    Vegetarian? Canadian? Matthew Good?

    Lordy, lordy, I have been missing out.

    Seriously?... Reeeally??... Seriously?

    p.s. I have a similar obsession with Stephen Colbert. In character, of course.

  20. I'm going to go find out who won the Best Rack Award cuz your blog has way too many words.. later.

  21. oh sure... now you're throwin' down and gloating. Well, if I was your typical guy I'de propose a rack-off at this point. But I'm not, so I'm not. Be well. Be proud.


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