Liar

Henry,  you naughty boy!
Did you steal my panties? 

I'll hide behind a smile 
And understanding eyes 
And I'll tell you things that you already know 
So you can say 
"I really identify with you, so much!"

And all the time that you're needing me 
Is just the time that I'm bleeding you 
Don't you get it yet? 
I'll come to you like an affliction 
And I'll leave you like an addiction 


You'll never forget me 
You wanna know why? 


Cause I'm a liar

~ Henry Rollins



I woke up Saturday morning to find that my Facebook page had been deleted! Oh no!

Who could possibly have done that? I smirked to myself, and took the whole thirty seconds necessary to create a new page. (If you’re not sure who it was, just read my last post.)

So everybody, I now have a new Facebook page. I would like to ask all my Bloggy friends to go to it and send me a friend request, so that I can add you again, and get my new page started.

I’d also like to thank everyone for all their supportive comments after I posted my last blog. You guys are fucking awesome! It’s hard to narrow it down, but here are a few of my favorite comments from my last post, “Bitches Be Craaazy”:

“Wow. My brain hurts from trying to understand what the cum bucket was trying to say.”


“She sounds like a nice little retard.”


“He calls out your name when he fucks her. It's the only explanation.”


“My fucking IQ just dropped like 20 points after reading her blabber.”


“Is she borderline illiterate? No fucking hope for her children.”

Hahaha! Thanks, you guys. ;)

Now then, I think we’ve wasted enough time on Michele, don't you? Let’s move on to something sane.

Heather at Sugar Free Thoughts has been kind enough to send me an award for “Blogger With The Best Boobs”. Isn’t that sweet? Oh, hold on a sec, just got a text...hey, it’s from Sugar Free Heather, speak of the devil! What’s she got to say?

Oh.

Hmmm.


“The award isn’t for best boobs, dumb ass! Not everything you receive in life is because of your rack.”

It isn’t?!

Okay, well, let’s have another look at this award thingy, then.

I’ll show HER.

Oh, haha! It isn’t about my rack. What are the odds?

With a prestigious award such as this comes great responsibility blah blah blah. I am meant to tell you seven things about myself, then pass the award on to however many blog tarts I choose. So pretend you care for a sec, and read this random crap about me.

1. Uh......
2. Hmmm.......
3. I dated Matthew Good a few years ago. Unless you’re Canadian, you will have no idea who that is.
4. The more tattoos I get, the lesser the chance I will ever have a normal job.
5. By this time in my life, I was supposed to be a soloist with the Royal Ballet of London, with a career in journalism on the side, and married to Hugh Laurie. Instead, I am a stripper who writes a blog and has an unhealthy obsession with Henry Rollins. SO CLOSE.
6. Oooh, speaking of which, I finally saw an episode of Sons of Anarchy with Henry Rollins. As expected, he was bloody fantastic. Though really, I would think this had he just tap danced naked across the screen. More, probably.
7. Last night, I dreamt I went to Manderley again. Actually, I dreamed last night that I was forced to hunt a pig. I am a vegetarian, so I just kept firing wide and missing him. I have no idea what this means.

Ta da! Hey! GET BACK HERE.

Now, my five blog tarts that I am inviting into the Jello wrestling ring, to see who will hold the title of Versatile Blogger for the next fortnight.

Kick Her Right In The Habit

PBJ Dreamer

Sometimes I Like Taffy

The Japing Ape

You Know Funny

Go check out these blogs, or I’ll slash your tires.

Haha! Just kidding.

Or am I?