Fight Song

"And I want a fire truck...and a new BMX bike...and mass genocide for
all the kids in my school who made fun of my eyes..."

I'm not a slave to a god
That doesn't exist
I'm not a slave to a world
That doesn't give a shit


~ Marilyn Manson


A mother's pride knows no bounds.

And since I have thoughtfully never damned the world by regurgitating a carbon copy of myself, I have somehow made my dogs and my blog (and to a lesser extent, my iPod) into my surrogate children, my only sources of matriarchal pride. Even if some of those things still occasionally poop on the bathroom carpet while I'm in the shower.

I'm not saying who.

Anyway, sometimes a mum wants to show off her offspring. Not so much because she is proud of each of her offspring as individual entities, but more as creations that she can take credit for.

That said, here is the Top Ten List of search terms that have brought people to my blog in the past few weeks, from a few different search engines. The pink writing is my initial reaction to each one.

#1. Sex Anywhere & Everywhere (yes, please) (google.com)
#2. Hyena Fucking (ummm...wha?) (hot google)
#3. Do Sociopaths Read Erotica? (no, we write stupid blogs about it) (google.com)
#4. Anorexia Sex (only when we're super skinny) (bing.com)
#5. Shut The Fuck Up And Gimme Gimme Gimme (as the bishop said to the actress) (google.de)
#6. Teacher Student Affair Royal Winnipeg Ballet (he was 18, fuck off) (google.ca)
#7. I Walked On Him In Stilettos (and he paid me for it!) (google.com)
#8. Neck Tattoos Sociopath (mmmmm) (google.com)
#9. Women Carry Fucks (only if it's Stephen Colbert dressed as Richard Branson) (google.sa)
#10. Lip Sequins Stage Jew (da fuck???) (google.uk)

There are some sick people out there. Thank god my blog is here to straighten them out.

Oh, wait.

.