This Is Good

"Omigod! Omigod! Omigod! You got an award?
I am so fucking excited!
Look at me, I can barely contain myself!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"

I smash my fists
Into my face
I can feel it
When I close my eyes


And This Is Good


I smash my fists
Into the wall
I can feel it
When I close my eyes


And This Is Good


I think I’m at the bottom
When I’m crying at the top
I think I’m at the bottom
When I’m dying at the top


And This Is Good


I hate to want
You make me want
I hate to want
You make me want you


I hate to want
You make me want 
To hurt you


~ Black Flag

Due to some sort of grievous clerical error, I have received a blog award. Hahaha! Isn't that a scream?

It's from the hilarious Oilfield Trash, whom I refer to as Oilfield Daddy, over at Make Daddy A Sammich.

This is what it looks like.

At first, I presumed "LOL" to mean what I think we all presume it to mean...Luscious Outer Labia.

And I just thought, Don't tell me. TELL HENRY ROLLINS.

But upon further investigation, it would appear that "LOL", in fact, means something entirely different.

Well. All I can say is, thank Christ I checked. That could have been really embarrassing.

So. With great honor comes great responsibility, which I HATE, but alas, what ya gonna do. Upon snooping around other people's blogs, it would appear that I am meant to: a) tell you who gave me the award (did that), b) tell you seven things about myself that you prolly never wanted to know and will absolutely regret reading, and c) torture seven other bloggers with the onerous task of doing the very same thing. (Let's see...who's pissed me off lately? You'll get yours. AND HOW.)

Um...er...fuck.

Okay.

1. I speak fluent English and French, though whenever I am in Quebec, I tell all the Frenchies to slow the fuck down, their French is terrible.

2. I went to the Royal Winnipeg Ballet as a teacher when I was sixteen. I dropped out the following year, and became a stripper just three years later. Haha! All that training finally paid off, Mum and Dad. Bazing.

3. Me Mum is Australian, and my Dad is French-Canadian, even though he doesn't speak French anymore. I've always personally pretended to be a blond-haired, green-eyed Jew, because I have a disturbing and unnatural fascination with Nazi Germany and the Third Reich. I've always felt I needed an excuse for this, since I look so fucking Aryan, so I've lied and said I'm Jewish. No one has ever  questioned me. Oy vey!

4. I have twelve piercings, six tattoos, and more to come.

5. I am my parents' pride and fucking joy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

6. I snuck into an honors English class in high school by lying about my previous grade, and wasn't caught for a month. By then it was too late to send me to a remedial class. Teacher put me on probation and told me to 'keep up with the others, or else'. I finished with the highest mark in the class.

7. I believe that the punishment for people who abuse animals should be that everything they did to the animal, is done to them. Same thing for people. And I get to watch.

Done!

And here's my seven other suckers bloggers, in no particular order (except who's next in line to be dipped in hot wax), who I think rock:

NOT WORTH MENTIONING

BATCRAP CRAZY

HOLLYWOOD: Where Hot Comes To Die

mental poo

The Didactic Pirate

The Mind Of Spaz

The RudeBlog

And...um, I think that's it. Tada! Responsibilities met!

I do feel kinda bad for the people I've passed this award on to, though.

Like some sort of disease, they're going to have to admit that they got it from me.

Hahahahaha! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Wait. That didn't sound right at all.


.