Monday, January 17, 2011

Somewhat Damaged

Hey, lover, sorry I'm late!
...yes, thank-you, Mariqueen, you are dismissed. 
You can leave Trent alone now.


Lick around divine debris
Taste the wealth of hate in me
Shedding skin succumb defeat
This machine is obsolete


Made the choice to go away
Drink the fountain of decay
Tear a hole exquisite red
Fuck the rest and stab it dead


Broken bruised forgotten sore
Too fucked up to care anymore
Poisoned to my rotten core
Too fucked up to care anymore


~ Nine Inch Nails


He lived.

TRENT LIVES ON.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

NO ONE can get between a crazy stripper and her dilapidated, clapped-out piece-of-shit car!

NO ONE.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! (Evil, sadistic laugh that makes you vaguely uncomfortable.)

That is all.

"My BABY!"
*Sadly, the rest of the reunion photos have been deemed inappropriate 
for public consumption by the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Posted by Henrietta Collins at 5:12 PM
Labels: , , ,

19 comments:

  1. gewuerzgurkeJanuary 17, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    Now that picture actually did make me smile a lot :D
    Also, and this is very important: I finished reading all your blog a couple of days ago and there is only one thing I can say: go write a goddamn book, will you?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oilfield TrashJanuary 17, 2011 at 5:40 PM

    YAY you have your car back.

    And since those photos are deem not safe for the public, you can just simply email them to me. lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. Heather (aka Sugar Free)January 17, 2011 at 6:10 PM

    Yeah....what she said. Write a goddamn book!

    Very happy Trent the Tracker is ok. Cute pic.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Henrietta CollinsJanuary 17, 2011 at 6:14 PM

    My German Pickle,
    you really read my whole blog? and you're still talking to me? now that IS a miracle. thank-you for the compliment about writing a book ;) i just have to find the right publisher to sleep with first.

    is henry rollins a publisher?

    Oilfield Daddy,
    no problem! if you'd just like to send me your credit card information...

    Sugar Free,
    i would write a book, but then my secret identity would be revealed, and i would no longer be able to use my super powers to help save the world from...um...erm...ah...hmmm.

    ah, fuck it. i'm just lazy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. MikeJanuary 17, 2011 at 7:16 PM

    Dear Kage

    I'm so glad Trent is still in your life! I understand how attached you can get to a vehicle. I was devastated when I lost my first baby, piece of crap she may have been.

    Mike.

    P.S. The frilly puffy hairy fuzzy wrist coat things tickled me just so. Er - i like them. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  6. RafaJanuary 17, 2011 at 7:41 PM

    You're retarded. I mean that as a complment, in the most loving way! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. hedJanuary 17, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    Yay for a car! I miss my car so much!

    Did you see Trent on the Golden Globes last night? I was giddy that he was all glammed out...

    hed

    ReplyDelete
  8. Henrietta CollinsJanuary 17, 2011 at 9:04 PM

    Mike,
    wow. you sure you didn't tickle yourself over my fuzzy coat? lol

    Rafa,
    i never take "you're so retarded" as anything other than a loving compliment.

    Hed,
    i know. *sob* I KNOW. he was so handsome, and acted so normal.

    bit disappointed about the acting normal, actually, but the suit totally made up for it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Annie (Lady M) xJanuary 18, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    Hello Dahlink! I absolutely lurvveeee the way that I have to go through an 'adult content warning' before reaching your blog. Makes me feel all naughty.

    Who the bloody hell is Trent? And why is that bird lying on a car?

    ReplyDelete
  10. jcohen7523January 18, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    Seriously?! No more photos. Oh well, guess I'll have to watch the white snake video instead.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Henrietta CollinsJanuary 18, 2011 at 3:28 PM

    Lady M,
    sorry, darlink! trent is:
    a) the gorgeous man tied up in the pic to your left. and right.
    b) the creator and singer of the band nine inch nails
    c) (one of) my future husband(s)
    d) the name of my car...

    Jesse,
    white snake?!?! there's nobody hot in white snake!!!

    and we will be returning to our regularly scheduled "henry rollins and 1979 jello biafra: portrait of a stalker" soon, i just wanted to throw those trent reznor pics up in honor of my poor car, trent.

    ReplyDelete
  12. DaaeJanuary 18, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    Very, very glad to hear that he survived!!! He's one amazing truck. He's. . . he's. . . like a cat! Nine lives :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Henrietta CollinsJanuary 18, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    Day Program,
    rahahahahahaha! get it? get it?!? "nine" lives? "nine" inch nails?!?!? NINE?!?! hahaha! get it??? GET IT???

    oh, wait, shit.

    yes. of course you do.

    ReplyDelete
  14. A Beer for the ShowerJanuary 18, 2011 at 9:13 PM

    ^^^^

    I don't get it. Can you explain it in picture-book form? I think I might be borderline retarded.

    Glad to see Trent is back in your life. You should treat him to something nice, like a pair of naked lady mudflaps. Really class 'im up.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Henrietta CollinsJanuary 18, 2011 at 11:10 PM

    Beer4Shower,
    the only naked chick trent will ever see again in his life is ME.

    oh wait. you meant the car, didn't you?

    ReplyDelete
  16. MissCrystalJanuary 19, 2011 at 12:34 AM

    I loved your comment on Gucci's blog and am now following you! Can't wait to get to know you better!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Annie (Lady M) xJanuary 19, 2011 at 1:02 PM

    Thank you for clarifying that Kage. I can confirm that I would definitely boff Trent. If you weren't going to marry him that is.

    ReplyDelete
  18. DuckyJanuary 19, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    Long Live Trent! Harriet's muff...ler needs some action.

    Or you can just teach me how to pull off a pose like whats in your header without looking constipated

    ReplyDelete
  19. Henrietta CollinsJanuary 20, 2011 at 2:31 PM

    MissC,
    stalked you back :)

    Lady M,
    we can "boff" him together! whatever that means.

    Daffs,
    whoa whoa whoa. i've seen your picture, and you're WAY cuter than me, so forget it.

    i ain't teaching the competition SHIT about NOTHIN'.

    ReplyDelete

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