Friday, January 14, 2011

The Ruiner

Hey, baby!
Who's the chick with the fucking Crazy Eyes?
The raping of the innocent 
You know the ruiner 
Ruins everything he sees
Now the only pure thing left in my fucking world 
Is wearing your disease

How did you get so big?
How did you get so strong?
How did it get so hard?
How did it get so long?

What you gave to me
My perfect ring of scars
You know I can see 
What you really are

You didn't hurt me 
Nothing can hurt me
You didn't hurt me 

Nothing can stop me now 

~ Nine Inch Nails

Oh, God, Trent. I hope you’re okay.

The accident today was so scary. Holy shit. I can’t even believe it happened.

And now they’ve got your body opened up somewhere, trying to meld your insides back together and save your life.

And all I can do is sit here and wait.

It didn’t even feel real when we hit the ice and went off the road, did it? As we bumped over the embankment and just kept going, I kept thinking, No fucking way, and wondered if, and then when, we were gonna hit that pole.

How far would you say we missed it by? Half a foot? Maybe less?

I was lucky. No injuries, only shock.

You, not so much.

My parents had to drag me off of you, sobbing and screaming. I clung to your body as it was quickly losing it's warmth, and told them I had to stay with you. But they shook their heads and physically lifted me off of you.

“No!” I cried, as they hauled me back to their truck. “We can’t just leave him here in the snow!”

“Kage,” my dad said softly. “There’s nothing more you can do for him. It's out of our hands now. You just don’t have that kind of power.”

I hated him then for being right - I didn’t have that kind of power, no matter how badly I wanted it. I exhaustedly gave up fighting and let my parents fold me into their truck, as I cried and mewled out pathetically for you, over and over.

And now I lie, curled up on the floor in my room, praying to a god that I don’t believe in that you will survive, Trent, and come back to me.

I don’t know what I would do without you. I suddenly realized today that I don’t have any friends left, other than you. Who else is gonna go to the gym with me twice a day? Who else will listen patiently and laugh along encouragingly as I try, over and over and over again, to get all the Dead Kennedys song lyrics right? Who else is gonna go with me anywhere I want to go, any time I want?

I’ve pushed everyone else away, Trent.

All I have left is you.

Please, baby, please.

Don't die.

Come home to me.
Hang in there, Trent, my sweet, rusted-out piece-of-shit. Mummy loves you.


  1. Hey hunny. I hope Trent pulls through ;)

    I'm still your friend, and don't ever forget it <3

  2. You had me going for a minute there, then looking at the picture I realized I HAD read that Trent was your car.
    There are other wheels in the sea Kage, thanks to all the fucktards that dump them there.
    Glad you weren't seriously hurt.

  3. I have 3, and I'm emotionally attached to all of them in an obsessive, fucked up kind of way that no one really understands.

  4. Poor Trent.

    I didn't realize you had that much snow up there right now. I guess I don't pay much attention to Canadian weather reports anymore.

  5. Oh your car? I thought someone was going Jersey shore on someone. I don't have a car. I'm a city dweller. That's probably why Trent took me someplace else. :) I bet Henry has a nice car.

  6. You named your car Trent? Fucking awesome. I named my kid Trent. We're kindred I tell you.

    On a totally random note, is that you in the camos? And did you photoshop out the nipples? Because...where are the nipples??


  7. I was wondering where you were going with this. very nicely done!I hope Trent pulls though!

  8. You fucking brat!

    Yes...I went there! I was so heart wrenched for poor Trent and then got to the blasted photo.

    Damn you!

    And my Harriet would think your Trent had some really niiice tires....

    Glad to know you're okay

  9. I guess maybe he just hurt himself, today, to see if he still feels.

  10. Superman,
    i'll never forget it. miss ya :)

    haha! wheels in the sea!

    ...i don't get it.

    Beer 4 Shower,
    sounds like you feel the same about your cars as i do for trent.

    what are your cars' names? do you talk to them, and tuck them in at night?

    if you do, that's not cool, dude. too far, methinks. ;)

    Oilfield Daddy,
    thanks! um...are you referring to the pic of trent reznor tied up, or the pic of me tied up?

    i'm gonna assume you mean trent. it IS nice, isn't it?

    you certainly know the way into my panties, don't you? just say henry!

    did i say panties? i meant heart.

    thank-you for your inquiry regarding my nipples!

    the right one is hidden behind my right arm. the left one you can kinda see, hiding behind a strand of hair and the chain from my dog tags.

    incidentally, my nipples have their own private email address, should you ever be interested in communicating with them, one-on-one. or one-on-two would be more accurate, i suppose. heh heh.

    and do you really have a kid?! named TRENT?!

    trent is a trooper. almost as tough as a marine ;) he'll pull through.

    cuz if he doesn't? i'll fucking kill him.

    shit, dude, i'm sorry! i didn't think anybody took me seriously anymore! aaaarrrggghh! i appreciate your concern, though, you're such a lovely ducky :) now, about getting trent into harriet's muff......ler...

    Kev D,
    bwahahahahahahahahaha! oh, SNAP! that was FUCKING FUNNY. i can't believe i didn't see that one coming! well done.

  11. AHHH HAAAAA HAAAAAA!!!! "Hed - Thank you for the inquiry regarding my nipples."

    I have tears....tears I tell you! over that!

    Eh hem....seriously though, sorry about Trent. Glad you're ok.


  12. I was referring to the pic of you tied up.

    I might have to make a trip up that way one day. lol j/k

  13. Sugar Free,
    tee hee! i'm glad you like my nipples...inquiry. nipples inquiry. and that i'm not dead.

    Oilfield Daddy,
    what do you mean, just kidding?!?!?!

  14. So funny. I thought that Trent Rez was really in an accident and that you were there. I almost googled it ... Then as I read on I realized what this story was about. Too funny! I hope that Trent pulls through.

  15. Punk Rock Girl,
    haha! can i call you punk rock girl? like the song?

    sorry about yanking your chain ;) but i'm glad to hear that your boy jack is back! maybe our two sweet cars can meet one day and start a band together. they can call it 'my mum needs to learn how to fucking drive' or something like that.

  16. You are very very good at this whole. . . leading people on to believe someone may actually have been hurt. Thank goodness no one was. I am glad you are okay and my thoughts go out to Trent, hopefully he will be better soon!

  17. The first time I read one of your posts in reference to Trent being hurt, I thought you had a horse or something.

    I was especially horrified when your dad moved the "horse" inside by pushing it with his truck.


    And poor Trent. But don't worry, maybe you can get a Jello, you know, an upgrade?

  18. Day Program,
    i know, i'm such a douche. i really should stop doing that. but who doesn't know my car's name is trent by now? for cereal.

    mmmmm, yes. a 1979, mint-condition jello biafra would be nice right now. very nice.

  19. Kage

    If Jello was BORN in 1979, yes, that would be mint for you :P


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