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| I am so tattooing this on my forehead. You WISH I was kidding, Mum. |
Buzzbomb buzzbomb macho-mobile!
My pension comes
Each penny saved buys more escape
I'd rather carouse around all day
Than move into a home
Buzzbomb buzzbomb tape up loud
Lawrence Welk cranked up to 10
Faster faster in my car
Plow through rest area San-o-Lets
Splat goes the lonely salesman
Still wanking in the men's room
Cops 'round here scratching their heads
Flashing sirens, State patrol: uh oh.
~ Dead Kennedys
Remember the Marine, from Guam, 2004?
If not, click here: Donkey Punch
Here's what that fucking idiot (said with love, poodle) did for his 35th birthday last night, in San Diego. Unbelievable.
I don't know how to turn the screen upright, so you'll just have to turn your computer...upright. (In my defense, I am pretty, and I don't have to know how to turn ANY THING, ANY WAY.)
Hmmm. Maybe leaving Guam in '04 was the right thing to do...
Happy Birthday, Marine, my poodle! You crazy old buzzbomb ;)
That's awesome! I want to get tazed now!
ReplyDeleteIt's a man thing. I'm gonna go ask my cop buddy to shoot me with his tazer. He'll probably say no - the first 47 times I ask ;)
please, PLEASE send me the video of you getting tasered!
ReplyDeletei will post it, post-haste.
if you're not willing, i will accept as substitute:
a) a video of you, begging your cop friend to taser you
b) a video of you and the angry dog, sliding around in the lubed up porn room
Update:
ReplyDeleteHe wasn't issued a tazer. He WAS issued a 9mm Barretta. I wasn't cool with getting shot with the Baretta, though.
He did offer to beat me with his night stick, and that wasn't optional.
Ow.
sweet!
ReplyDeletewhere's my vid?!
I was supposed to video tap me getting beat by a cop? Like the Jewish Rodney King? Nobody cares enough in my town to shoot THAT!
ReplyDeletewhat about the angry dog?
ReplyDeleteThe angry dog doesn't have opposable thumbs to operate the camera. Last time I asked her to operate a camera it cost me $200 to replace the camera.
ReplyDeleteThis could be part of the reason why she's angry?
bwahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteahhhhhhhhhhhh. i guess she won't be filming the lesbian pornos, then.
Likely not. Though if I mount the camera on a tripod and put a piece of liver treat on the start button, she could *start* filming. That would just mean you would have to stay in a limited field of view and couldn't get *too* vigorous in the lesbian sex.
ReplyDeleteLike, no contortions or say, no flying tongue bombs?
c'est qoui, une 'flying tongue bomb'?
ReplyDeletein detail, please..