Friday, May 28, 2010

Settling In

It is 9:30 pm, and I just talked to Bf for the first time today. We spoke only once last night, and though both of us were making an obvious effort to be cordial, we still ended up snapping at each other. Tonight was a lot better - the cheer didn't feel so forced this time, on either of our parts. So, with Bf and I settling back in, I'll have to find something else to bitch about!

I don't, however, want to bitch about Baby and Baby Momma right now. My fury has finally abated somewhat, and I am not looking to renew it right now, so I will just leave that one alone. Suffice it to say that now, two days later, I am not quite as devastated and suicidal as I was the first day. So things are looking up.

Right now, I am in my upstairs little apartment above the strip club I am working in this week. Well, I say strip club, it's really more of a dingy pub with a stage along one wall. The patrons treat it thusly too, choosing to sit in groups facing away from the stage and chatting with each other instead of watching the shows. When it gets very busy, the younger guys will actually come up and tip, which is great, except it doesn't get that busy too often right now.

I am loving having my pride and joy, Billy, with me here this week. As usual, Billy has helped keep my depression at bay, quelled any longing to sit in the bar and drink like everyone else, and interferes with my isolating by getting me out of the house several times a day. He is a fantastic companion, and thankfully he is doing really well with the house training - we haven't had a single accident since I picked him up from Ex Bf's a week ago, either at home with Bf and Baby, or here in the dancer apartment.

I am going to keep Billy for another week after this, as it is my week off from work and I can spend every day with him and Moo. I can't wait to hear what Ex Bf's mum has to say about it. Apparently last time I picked Billy up from the farm, she asked Ex Bf what Kg was doing here, on her property, taking her dog? Apparently she is no longer interested in continuing with the shared custody arrangement Ex Bf and I have had since I moved out two years ago. While I understand her desire to keep Billy for herself (who wouldn't?!), the arrangement was between Myself and Ex Bf, not her. I don't want to, but I am ready to fight if she tries to stop me from seeing my baby. After all, I'm the one who pays for everything for him, his vet visits, annual boosters, deworming, grooming, etc. Billy is also licensed and registered with The City as being my property. I hope it doesn't come to that, where I have to be rude and throw these things in her face. I just want to spend time with my puppy! And really, why can't she appreciate that I continue to want to share him with them - I could just take him and be done with it, but I know how much they love him, and how much Billy loves the farm. By sharing custody, everybody gets what they want. Why can't she see that?

Hmmmm. This all sounds awfully familiar, doesn't it? Custody battle, crazy bitch who doesn't want to share, sweet, precious baby stuck in the middle, hurt feelings all around.

I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

FUCK.

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