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"Come here often?" |
"It's only called 'Terrorism' if you kill American civilians. If you kill British civilians, I believe it's called 'Bangers and Mash'."
~ Stephen Colbert
Sorry, did I say ‘rode’? I meant ‘wrote’. Charlie Sheen ‘wrote’ me all night long, about the LAPD being in his goddamn house.
See, I joined this brand new social network yesterday. It’s so new that you probably haven’t even heard of it yet - I know I hadn’t - but it allows you to get, amongst other things, a blow-by-blow commentary from your favorite celebrity train wrecks, like Charlie Sheen.
And I LOVES me a train wreck. Especially when it’s not ME.
The real reason I joined this network was because I found out that Stephen Colbert is on it. Say no more! I thought gleefully, and signed right up. But then Stephen mentioned Charlie Sheen’s 2 million followers, and to my shame and regret, my curiosity got the better of me, and I went there, too.
And now Charlie Sheen keeps me up all night long! At least Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart have the decency to stop writing me during the midnight hours. But not Mr. Sheen, no - high on Mr. Sheen Juice and Tiger’s Blood, ol' Chuck has something to say 24 hours a day. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with him.
It did lead to one interesting video, though even I can admit that he’s going to have to come up with some new crazy soon. The world is already losing interest.
What was the name of the new social network I joined, you ask? I don’t remember, I think it was called Twitter or something.