Wednesday, March 28, 2012

With Teeth

"No no, diddums. You're supposed to
barf outside the refrigerator." 

She comes along
She gets inside
She makes you better than anything you've tried
It's in her kiss
The blackest sea
And it runs deeper than you
Dare to dream it could be

~ Nine Inch Nails

Wow. Unbelievable. I just got back from the dentist, Dr. VM, the guy I had so much trouble with last week, and guess what?

He’s refusing to treat me any further.

Yup, I’m just too much of a pain in his ass for him to bother with, I guess cuz I flinched in the chair again this morning when he tried to take out my stitches.

He lost patience with me immediately. “Stop it, Kage,” he said, his hands above my face. “Just stop it. I can’t take out your stitches if you freak out like that. You’re making things harder for you and for me.”

Fuck, I didn’t do it on purpose, I thought to myself. It fucking hurts, so I flinched. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, as a frustrated tear slipped down my cheek. “I’m trying my best.”

But when he went to go back in, I flinched again.

 "This is goddamn ridiculous!" he exclaimed, and I pulled even further away from him.

“Do you want me to hold her mouth open, Doctor?” his dental assistant asked, and he grumbled his assent.

He finally got the stitches out this way, with the nurse holding my mouth open. Then he treated me for the dry socket I had developed, who's most defining characteristic, by the way, is how FUCKING PAINFUL IT IS.

I managed to sit still as he pressed a rolled piece of gauze into the hole where my tooth used to be, which I thought was pretty fucking incredible of me, considering. But when I asked about my future fillings, he said this:

“Any other work you need is going to have to be done in a hospital setting.”

So I thought, Okay, he wants to put me under general anesthetic for our next go round, that’s prolly a good idea. But when I asked her nurse after about setting it up, she looked surprised and said, “No, Dr. Van Middlesworth won’t be treating you anymore. I mean, we’ll finish this thing, but that’s it.”

“What? Why?” I asked.

She hesitated. “You...obviously have a lot of trouble in the chair,” she finally said. “He thinks you would do better in a hospital setting.”

Jesus Christ, I wasn’t that bad, I thought. I was fucking scared.

“So how do I set that up?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said, and turned back to her computer.

“Well could you find out?” I snapped.

“Sure,” she said uncomfortably, and left the cubicle to find the doctor.

He obviously didn’t know that I could hear him. Or maybe he did? “It’s at the Foothills, she’ll have to figure it out on her own,” he said briskly to his assistant when she asked him, like he didn't give a shit if I jumped off a bridge and died.

I left the office crying, but with a newfound respect for my regular dentist, Dr. Yu. He’s been treating me for two years, and has never once told me that I am a pain in his ass and am more trouble than I am worth. When I started with Dr. Yu, I used to have to be sedated for him to fill in a cavity. Now I can sit through a root canal with just localized freezing. Yes, I know that I am a high maintenance patient, who needs extra care. But I also know that I can easily be calmed, through patience and reassurance. Neither of which were offered to me at the Varsity Family Dental Centre.

To Dr. VM and his staff, your bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired. Like a bedside manner.

To Dr. Yu and staff, I appreciate that you have never refused me treatment or told me I was too much trouble. I am glad that my $20,000+ in necessary dental care will be going to Yu.



  1. Hey you, with the face!

    Have you tried doing sedation dentistry? My sister swears by it. is where she goes and loves it.

    My family has an issue with anesthesia, we burn through it too fast for most dentists to get the work done. (my dad woke up in open heart surgery) When I get fillings he spends more time freezing me than doing work. Sedation is what I'm doing from now on.

  2. Is Dr Yu a Buddhist? He seems to have a serene quality that puts you at ease. I bet cats like him as well. As for Dr VM, he should practice dentistry on sharks.

  3. Fuck them! They are supposed to show compassion. I wonder how they treat kids that are scared. Fuck them!


    PS-I got a tattoo I want you to me!

  4. that's terrible, Kage. what an arse for a dentist and dental assistant or the nurse is a bitch too.
    stick to Dr. Yu.

  5. I know I am a pain as dentist's patient. My threshold for pain in almost nonexistent when it comes to getting dental work done. Having stated that, no dentist has ever dropped me. The man who worked on you is just a jerk.

  6. That does seem pretty extreme and unfair. Not just to tell you that he won't treat you anymore, but to not even have any information for where you have to go if you want to have it done at a hospital.

  7. The guy is an incredible dick and fuck him and his practice, I hate the dentist profession but just out of fear of the needle!

  8. Hey Kiddo.
    Stick to Dr.Yu, he sounds good. As for other guy remember him for next Xmas. Get him a tattoo at you shop. Show him what it's like to be treated like shit. And a big cock in the middle of his forehead sounds about right. What a prick!!
    We all still luv ya!!

  9. What a raging dickbag! I'm sorry he was nasty to ya, sweetlings. We all know you are harmless as a mewling kitten when petted nicely. He just couldn't handle your awesomeness. ;)

    Everyone in that profession deals with difficult patients and he should be better equipped to handle hard situations. If you were too much for him, fine, but he didn't handle the situation well AT ALL! Screw him.

  10. Wow. What a colossal prick.

    Such a bummer about the dry socket. I've heard those hurt like a mother. AND he didn't use the dissolving stitches!?! That's fucked up. Did he give you a syringe so you can rinse it out with salt water? Helped me tons when I had my wisdom teeth out. Obviously, our healthcare is vastly different here in the States but I've been konked out for every one of my oral surgeries.

  11. Dud sounds like a dickbag. Sorry to hear your experience was rough.

  12. what a dick he should have handle things better but i agree with Jewels he just couldn't deal with your awesomness. Hope you find a better doctor to take care of you the way they should.

  13. Ugh, I am like you. A bit of a wuss in the chair, but so what. Get some interpersonal skills doctor! Since I hate dentists so much, I haven't gone in over two years. I know I know! I gotta go. But then I read stuff like this.

  14. Not OK, Kage darling. Time to go back to the Dr that treats you with patience and compassion. You deserve nothing less. No reason for a professional to not be KIND even it he's not a fan of your chair behavior. Dude is a dick.

  15. Yes he sounds like an utter fucking cunt, treating you in such a cunting way...please pardon my colourful colonial language, but that is very poor form...
    i think i would rather be king hit by the local thug than have this prick stick his monster digits in my gob...

  16. Pretty hot. Scared patient in dental chair....glad you liked the "goat sucker" post. Your comment was priceless.

  17. Yet more proof that Asians make better dentists.

  18. you would think he'd be glad of the moolah. I hate going to the dentist they always say 'this wont hurt' right before jamming a nine foot needle in to your face.The last time i went it was a female dentist, you would think she wuold be more gentle?. Wrong!. Ilsa Kock was more peaceful than this woman, im sure she got her certificate at the shining hotel where jack nicholson went bat shits. Just deny payment till they take you back, dentists are greedy as hell.

  19. How did you crack your tooth in the first place? I freaking love the dentist, but I had major dental work done when I was 3, & have gone to the dentist every 6 months from then. Once I found out other kids didn't like the dentist, I became a real pompous little shit about my 'talent' at the dentist, & refused to let myself squirm, even if I was in pain, just to get a sweet validating compliment from the dental nurse along with my dental showbag. But I did smash my front tooth on a road when I was 13 & it was humiliating. I hope your smashed tooth is somewhere less visible.

    So, Henry Rollins is coming to Perth, Australia, doing a spoken word tour. Should I go? I'd never heard of him before you, but I think you're funny, & you're in love with him, so I should like him, no?

    1. oh yes, you should go, he is pretty funny and very sharp in his commentaries on the world...take kageys advice..and mine!

  20. That is pretty disgusting. Not just the treatment but also the way he spoke to you, considering you live across the pond where it's my understanding that everyone sues everyone couldn't you ... sue him ? Say you are now mentally scarred by the whole experience. And surely any dentist worth the money should be used to nervous scared patients - they must see plenty of them.

    You should try sedation, Son had a tooth removed that way, he was hilarious after. When I went to get him he was off his face - so much so that he had no idea where he was or what had just happened and informed me, in front of the nurse that "whatever drugs that was I am definitely going to get some more". When we got home he kept asking me why his mouth felt so funny too.

    So yeah, try it. But have a friend with you.

  21. NTH,
    i have done sedation dentistry, and it was awesome! unfortunately, it was bloody expensive, too. for all the work i need done, i just can't afford it :(

    i bet cats like you, too.

    emailing you now!

  22. Jaya,
    yeah, they're so cute. saw them yesterday, definitely the right choice.

    he IS a douche, isn't he?

    yeah, the lazy fucker.

  23. Francis,
    i've always hated needles, too. lately i've had to get used to them, but i still hate them!

    Uncle Peter,
    i'm so glad you're here ;)

    goddamn right!

  24. Elizabeth,
    yeah, dr. douche didn't do anything he was supposed, it seems.

    thank-you darling :)

    tee hee! thank-you :)

  25. Wow, That Was Awkward,
    ooops! sorry. wow, that was awkward.

    the more i think about him, the more pissed off i become. he really was a dick.

    tee hee! i love how you speak.

  26. Barfly,
    i am thrilled that you have found dome erotic pleasure in my misery lol

    haha yeah! racism is funny.


  27. Sarah,
    go see henry! go see henry!!!!! and then write me and tell me all about it!

    Dirty Cowgirl,
    jave actually tried sedation, it was so great but so expensive. i need a lot of work, so unfortunately i can't afford it :(

  28. Did you know your twitter was viciously hacked? It's spamming people... :)


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