With Teeth

"No no, diddums. You're supposed to
barf outside the refrigerator." 

She comes along
She gets inside
She makes you better than anything you've tried
It's in her kiss
The blackest sea
And it runs deeper than you
Dare to dream it could be


~ Nine Inch Nails


Wow. Unbelievable. I just got back from the dentist, Dr. VM, the guy I had so much trouble with last week, and guess what?

He’s refusing to treat me any further.

Yup, I’m just too much of a pain in his ass for him to bother with, I guess cuz I flinched in the chair again this morning when he tried to take out my stitches.

He lost patience with me immediately. “Stop it, Kage,” he said, his hands above my face. “Just stop it. I can’t take out your stitches if you freak out like that. You’re making things harder for you and for me.”

Fuck, I didn’t do it on purpose, I thought to myself. It fucking hurts, so I flinched. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, as a frustrated tear slipped down my cheek. “I’m trying my best.”

But when he went to go back in, I flinched again.

 "This is goddamn ridiculous!" he exclaimed, and I pulled even further away from him.

“Do you want me to hold her mouth open, Doctor?” his dental assistant asked, and he grumbled his assent.

He finally got the stitches out this way, with the nurse holding my mouth open. Then he treated me for the dry socket I had developed, who's most defining characteristic, by the way, is how FUCKING PAINFUL IT IS.

I managed to sit still as he pressed a rolled piece of gauze into the hole where my tooth used to be, which I thought was pretty fucking incredible of me, considering. But when I asked about my future fillings, he said this:

“Any other work you need is going to have to be done in a hospital setting.”

So I thought, Okay, he wants to put me under general anesthetic for our next go round, that’s prolly a good idea. But when I asked her nurse after about setting it up, she looked surprised and said, “No, Dr. Van Middlesworth won’t be treating you anymore. I mean, we’ll finish this thing, but that’s it.”

“What? Why?” I asked.

She hesitated. “You...obviously have a lot of trouble in the chair,” she finally said. “He thinks you would do better in a hospital setting.”

Jesus Christ, I wasn’t that bad, I thought. I was fucking scared.

“So how do I set that up?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said, and turned back to her computer.

“Well could you find out?” I snapped.

“Sure,” she said uncomfortably, and left the cubicle to find the doctor.

He obviously didn’t know that I could hear him. Or maybe he did? “It’s at the Foothills, she’ll have to figure it out on her own,” he said briskly to his assistant when she asked him, like he didn't give a shit if I jumped off a bridge and died.

I left the office crying, but with a newfound respect for my regular dentist, Dr. Yu. He’s been treating me for two years, and has never once told me that I am a pain in his ass and am more trouble than I am worth. When I started with Dr. Yu, I used to have to be sedated for him to fill in a cavity. Now I can sit through a root canal with just localized freezing. Yes, I know that I am a high maintenance patient, who needs extra care. But I also know that I can easily be calmed, through patience and reassurance. Neither of which were offered to me at the Varsity Family Dental Centre.

To Dr. VM and his staff, your bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired. Like a bedside manner.

To Dr. Yu and staff, I appreciate that you have never refused me treatment or told me I was too much trouble. I am glad that my $20,000+ in necessary dental care will be going to Yu.



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