Saturday, June 25, 2011

I'm Insane

"This belongs to Kage. Don't fucking touch."

If I ran away today
Will you pull me back tomorrow?
Took some time to arrange
Your connections hard to swallow

I know you're somewhere, I'm Insane
It's your needs on my brain
Smack me out, Our eyes exchange
To have the strength to stake my claim

Have you placed it?
I can't taste it
Will I waste it?
Can't trace it
Time to face it

Now gonna go away

~ Dinosaur Jr

Henry Rollins woke me up in bed last night, whispering in my ear.

No, not my computer, Henry Rollins. The REAL Henry Rollins nudged me awake last night, whispering sweet nothings in my ear of his undying love and lust for me.

“Dinosaur Jr onstage now. Completely ripping it up!!! Best show yet!!!” (It’s our secret lover’s code, shut up.)

“Yes, baby,” I murmured back, snuggling into him. “I know.”

I drifted back into my dream, where Henry was a medieval knight and I was a wanton, buxom serving wench, but my delicious punk star was too excited to let me sleep.

“Dinosaur Jr onstage now. Completely ripping it up!!! Best show yet!!!”

“Okay,” I moaned, and sat up to take off my top. “But I really should brush my teeth first. My mouth tastes like a Dinosaur Jr pooped in it.”

I lay back with a smile and waited for Henry’s skilled hands to trail over my body. A few seconds passed but Henry still wasn’t nibbling my belly button, so I opened my eyes and looked around my room in the gloom of early evening.

“Henry?” I asked into the darkness. “Baby?”

“Dinosaur Jr onstage now. Completely ripping it up!!! Best show yet!!!” he crowed from the floor beside my bed, where I had knocked him over in my haste to be felt up.

Oh, right, I thought sleepily, Henry isn’t in my bed; he’s in Philly with Dinosaur Jr.

I picked up my iPhone from the floor and smiled indulgently at Henry’s message flashing across my screen. I love it when he makes the effort to stay in touch while he’s on the road, I thought dreamily. What a poppet.

He disguises his personal messages to me as posts for his followers on Twatter, but whatever, I know they’re really just for me. He hasn’t used that thing since 2008, what else could it possibly mean?

I cuddled my phone to my face and lay back down in bed to wait for Henry’s next message, but it wasn’t long before I was dreaming again.

Henry was James T. Kirk, and I was a green alien woman with three boobs.

If that doesn't spell true love, then my name's not Henrietta Collins!

If I were in Dinosaur Jr, I'd only do the
interview if I could sit in Henry's lap.



  1. You are too much. I laughed my ass off throughout this whole post. I didn't know Henry was here in Philly...I'd have gone to see him. I I wouldn't have...I'd have stayed far far away...after all he belongs to you. :)

  2. Oh what a nice, nice dream... so sweet of him to stay in touch with his lover while he is traveling... what a thoughtful man!

  3. I wish people would stop insulting the green alien woman. Her name was Vina and she had two boobs. That aside, it's good that you're a buxom wench in your dreams. Great things start with dreams.

  4. what a sweet man to stay in touch and what a funny post dreaming of aliens and captain kirk

    Everyday Life

  5. you always have the best love stories!

  6. Henry Rollins looks like the kind of guy that's going to punch you in the face and choke you. Like, in a way that you might enjoy. But jesus he's so large and frightening!

  7. i've always connected with the Rollins thought patterns

    oh, dinosaur jr, *pierced with a nostalgia arrow*

  8. Jewels,
    actually, i'm so smitten that i would want you to go see him, just so that i could touch you after and be touching henry by proxy. ummmmmm.

    isn't he awesome? and he's just as thoughtful in the scratcher.

    are you sure she only had two boobs? why would they do such a thing?

  9. Dinosaur Jr poops in my mouth too. Usually after nights involving blinding amounts of whiskey.

  10. Only you can make Henry R. and Dinosaur Jr. erotic.

  11. Kagey Baby! Missed ya!

    And your obsessions!!

  12. how cool of him to keep in touch with you

  13. damn. havent seen or heard rollins in some time

  14. I used to be a stagehand in Seattle, and I met Henry Rollins once at a show he did at the Paramount Theater. He's actually a really nice guy.

  15. Becca,
    you should have sen henry in his uniform.

    i'm all about the romance! be it real or otherwise.

    Cake Betch,
    i KNOW, right? yum

  16. The Late Phoenix,
    i agree. every single thought that henry rollins has is perfect and without flaw. even the thought "i am afraid of this stalker, kage" has its merits.

    Beer 4 Shower,
    sigh. aren't we lucky?

    you should see what they're doing in my mind.

  17. Mikey,
    missed you too! and so did my other personalities!

    i know. isn't he dreamy?

    it's hot, right?

  18. Major Mack,
    henry's still around and kicking ass. i'll keep you updated...

    Matthew MacNish,
    omigod omigod omigod. i must hear all the details.

  19. Love your posts ! Will follow :)


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