Tuesday, December 14, 2010



Riot! The unbeatable high
Riot! Shoots your nerves to the sky
Riot! Playing right into their hands
Tomorrow you're homeless
Tonight it's a blast 

Now you can smash
All the windows that you want
All you really need
Are some friends and a rock

Throwing a brick 
Never felt so damn good
Smash more glass
Scream with a laugh
And wallow with the crowds
Watch them kicking peoples' ass

Get your kicks in quick
They're callin' the national guard
Now could be your only chance
To torch a police car 

Climb the roof, kick the siren in
And jump and yelp for joy
Quickly, dive back in the crowd
Slip away now, don't get caught

~ Dead Kennedys





...............oh. Sorry.

Ahem. What I meant to say was, thank-you for all your help. Ta ta.

I made my escape from hop-sital this morning, approximately three hours AFTER I was actually  discharged, because apparently my parents had better things to do than bust their daughter from the fucking booby hatch, and sometimes I fucking HATE THEM.

But yeah, I’m OUT.


It’s funny. I had so many plans, all these things I was gonna do once I was sprung. The vision I had of myself, running around the city in my slick power suit, snapping up important corporate positions and saying goodbye to my gawdawful internment as a fucked up stripper in a matter of oh, say, thirty seconds - it was so solid. In my mind, even my tattoos had somehow melted off, and my piercings disappeared. I was just too busy running my new company for that kind of nonsense, thank-you VERY MUCH.

In this vision, I had also learned to stop baring my teeth and hissing at strangers, tripping running children for the comedic value, and using the word ‘fuck’ to garnish every fucking sentence I have ever fucking uttered.

HIGHLY unlikely, I know. But we can all succumb to delusions of grandeur sometimes, ja?

Anyway, I kept the dream of my turbo-charged productivity running strong riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight up until the time I got home and decided that actually, I wasn’t all that interested in doing stuff today.

Finding a job that is not stripping is HARD WORK.

Sitting on my ass is NOT.

And so, after all my careful planning and plotting to get out of hop-sital, the endless daydreaming of What I’m Gonna Do When I Get The FUCK OUTTA HERE, all the rumors I started between nurses and counselors about the date of my upcoming discharge when in fact none existed, calling my friends and family up and telling them I was being discharged on This Date when in fact I had no idea when I would get out...after all that hard work I put into getting out of hop-sital, I came home and did this:

-Arsed around on Blogger
-Looked at pics of Jello Biafra, while wiggling around on my office chair
-Downloaded music
-Looked at more pics of Jello Biafra, indulged in some more wriggling
-Napped some more
-Didn't eat (just kidding)
-That's about it

"Haaaaaaaaaay, Kage, you're outta hop-sital! Let's get drunk and eat chicken
wings till we puke! No?! Oh, RIIIIIIIIGHT. Never mind."



It was AWESOME!!! I didn’t do fucking ANYTHING productive. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

It was a grand first day, back in the Real World. Here’s a quick review of what went down:

-One of my favorite bloggers found MY blog this morning, and said that it ‘fucking rocks’ (tee hee!). Spent the rest of the day walking about like the cock of the block.

-Spent the evening with M and Baby, decorating the Xmas tree and making a gingerbread house. Baby was so excited to see me! So was M, actually. BONGO.

-The Spaz Blogger made me a video present for my release from hop-sital today! It is totally inappropriate for EVERYONE to enjoy, without having to know one iota of the context behind it. It’s fucking hilarious, basically just some footage from work made into something it really already was anyway. Set to Nine Inch Nails!

Rahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. I know it doesn't make any sense. Just roll with it ;)


  1. OH NO! I spelled the second inertial wrong! It's an interial pump! Damn!

    Well, at least we enjoyed it ;)

  2. hahaha!

    don't worry, nobody else follow this blog, and those that pop in will be so confused by this video and why it's so goddamn hilarious, it really won't matter ;)

    thanks again for the vid. t'was an awesome present :)

  3. Hey! I follow. I've just been so busy reading the archives that I haven't commented yet! And of course I can't comment on this video because I'm at work and I'm thinkin' I don't dare check it out until I get home. Love your blog Kage.

  4. sugar free! my irish jolly stompin' blogger buddy!

    thank-you :)

    and while the video isn't exactly vulgar, it would DEFINITELY be a hard one to explain at work... ;)

  5. Ha! I've seen it now. It WOULD have been hard to explain at work! Land manatee aside (which I totally get) I found myself slightly turned on by the end of it all. Maybe it was the NIN. Thanks?-!! :o)


  6. Kage - Itwas my pleasure. It was as fun to make as it was to watch and of course, the gratitude makes it all worth while!

    BTW - your dogs are cute. But i'm just wondering about the smallest one - does it ever actually ... move?


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