|"Ah, goddamnit! I dropped my fucking monocle!!!|
And where the FUCK IS KAGE?!?!"
Welcome to 1984
Are you ready for the third world war?!?
You too will meet the secret police
They'll draft you and they'll jail your niece
You'll go quietly to boot camp
They'll shoot you dead, make you a man
Don't you worry, it's for a cause
Feeding global corporations' claws
Die on our brand new poison gas
El Salvador or Afghanistan
Making money for President Reagan
And all the friends of President Reagan
California Uber alles
Uber alles California
~ Dead Kennedys
Oh my Gawd, oh my Gawd, oh my Gawd.
Check this out.
Suzy Soro, from Seinfeld, emailed me. Emailed ME. I met Suzy Soro! From SEINFELD.
Isn’t that fucking wikked? I met a TV star.
Now, I suppose it’s true, that I myself have managed to land my ass on t.v. a couple of times (Confessions Of A Bad Movie). But that was more a scenario where the producers cast my tits for a part, and I just happened to be attached, so they had to let me come, too.
But THIS, this is REAL, because:
a) we are talking about Seinfeld, and
b) we are talking about SEINFELD.
Ha ha! How bout that for cookies? I know Somebody Famous.
Ergo...I AM NOW FAMOUS.
Please! Form an orderly queue behind my bespectacled publicist, pictured below. Thank-you.
|"This is animal abuse."|
Also, please don't look directly at me. It upsets my feng shui. I mean, my chakras. I mean, my whatevers. Just stop looking at me.
Now then. NOW THEN. I am pretty fucking sure we all know the first thing I am going to do with my new found fame.
Isn’t it fucking obvious?!?!
Being famous has now brought me one step closer to marrying, throwing a hump at, meeting, getting arrested for stalking (that's the one) Jello Biafra.
I LOVE BEING FAMOUS!
Right then! I'm off to find myself a ghettoblaster, or a "boombox", as the kids say these days.
I plan to stand under Jello Biafra's window, and serenade him by warbling along sexily to his own lyrics.
And the kicker?
I'll be standing in a kiddie pool full of Jello.
Ha ha! BONGO! Sold, done, mine! Fait accompli!
I mean, who in their right mind could resist THAT shit?!?!
No one, that's who.