Sunday, August 29, 2010

Fucking Bonkers

You are SO GROUNDED, Missy!

I'm still alive. Unfortunately.

My brain or my body or whatever this survival instinct thing is clicked in last night when I was on the floor with Dad. My body suddenly just flooded with adrenaline, and I stopped crying, picked myself up the floor, and laughed.

Seriously. I laughed. I was once again completely numb, like my system had just flushed out all the toxic feelings and destroyed them.

Poor Dad. If I thought he was frightened when I started howling...this was worse. He didn't know what to do with me.

I need to get into that FUCKING HOSPITAL.

I'm down another pound, bringing me under 110. Which is thin, yes, but I'm started to wonder...just how thin do I have to be, just how much weight do I have to lose, before they'll take me seriously?

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