Thursday Thirteen (For Dyslexics Only)

"I'm not going to take you to the hospital, cuz if I do, you won't learn anything."
~ Brian, Family Guy

Okay, so I was momentarily distracted by a shiny object Anchorman last Thursday, when I tried to do a favorite quotes list. So, barring any shiny things interrupting me again, let’s give it another go.

Here’s some fav quotes from tv ‘n movies, in no particular order. Because I have nothing else of value to say today...

I also didn't number them, as one or two (or three) extras may have snuck in there. But in my defense, I am a stripper, and we all know strippers can't count. So who cares? Haha!

Red Dwarf
Cat: Come on bud, I'm not asking you to do anything I wouldn't do.
Rimmer: What? You'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew?
Cat: No. I'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew.

Red Dwarf
Cat: All in all, 100% successful trip!
Kryten: But sir, we lost Mr Rimmer.
Cat: All in all, 100% successful trip!

Black Adder

Edmund: What is your name, boy?

Kate: Kate.


Edmund: Kate? That's an unusual name for a boy.

Kate: It's short for...um...Bob.

Super Troopers

Foster (trying to impress Ursula): What size cells are these? Eight by eight? Ours are nine by nine...no big deal.

Red Dwarf

Rimmer: Men are better than machines, Lister.
Lister: I had this Geography teacher, Miss Foster. She took us on a school summer camp trip to Deganwy. I had the tent next to hers, right? And in the middle of the night I was woken up by this really weird noise. She didn't think men were better than machines.

Blades of Glory

Jimmy: Get out of my face!

Chazz Michaels: I’ll get inside your face.

Black Adder

Baldrick: I want my mum.

Edmund: Ah, yes. A maternally crazed gorilla would come in handy at this very moment.

Red Dwarf
Rimmer: I think we're all beginning to lose sight of the real issue here, which is: what are we going to call ourselves? I think it comes down to a choice between, "The League Against Salivating Monsters" or, my own personal preference, which is "The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society." One drawback with that, the abbreviation is C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S.

Super Troopers 

Thorny: Do you know how fast you were going back there?

Kid: Um...65?

Thorny: 63.

Kid: But...isn’t the speed limit 65?

Thorny: Yeah, it is.

(All pause and stare at each other)

Stoned kid in backseat: I am freaking out, man.

Rabbit: You are freaking out. Man.

Black Adder

Edmund: My every path is strewn with cow pats from the devil's own SATANIC HERD.

Red Dwarf
Rimmer: I used to be in the Samaritans.
Lister: I know. For one morning.
Rimmer: I couldn't take any more.
Lister: I don't blame you. You spoke to five people, and they all committed suicide. I wouldn't mind, but one was a wrong number! He only phoned up for the cricket scores.
Rimmer: Well, it's hardly my fault that everyone chose that morning to throw themselves off buildings. Made the papers, you know. 'Lemming Sunday', they called it.

Blades of Glory

Chazz Michaels: Troubled childhood? If you consider a 9 year old with a 35 year old girlfriend troubled.

Black Adder

Hag (bent over dramatically): Two things you must know about the wise woman! First, she...is...a...woman! Second, she...is...


Edmund (cuts her off): Wiiiiiiise?

Hag (straightens up and puts hands on hips): Oi! You know her then?

Edmund (sighs): No, just a wild stab in the dark, which is incidentally what you'll be getting in a minute, if you don't become a bit more helpful.

Red Dwarf
Kryten: It's charging us with looting Space Corp derelicts.
Lister: But we don't loot Space Corp derelicts! We just hack our way in, and swipe what we need.
Rimmer: Lister, if this goes to trial, I demand separate lawyers.

Black Adder

Edmund: Well, Baldric, I would just like to say how much I enjoyed your company and friendship. But we both know that that would be an utter lie. So sod off, and if I ever see you again, it will be a BILLION years too soon.

Red Dwarf

Cat: Maybe we should drop the defensive shields?

Kryten: A superlative suggestion, sir, with just two minor flaws: one, we don't have any defensive shields, and two, we don't have any defensive shields. I know that, technically speaking, that's only one drawback, but it was such a big one, I thought I'd mention it twice.

Red Dwarf

Cat: There's an old cat saying: ‘If you're gonna eat tuna, expect bones.’
Rimmer: There's an old human saying: ‘If you're gonna talk garbage, expect pain.’

Okay, now check out this video clip...Mr. Bean and House, as I once knew them (ie: my future husbands)